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After 2.5 months, I finally folded/hung all of my clean clothes that had been in a huge pile on the floor next to my bed. Trying to think positively about it but the only thing that is positive is that I am a terrible failure of an adult.

…about the large print book I’m reading.

I wonder how many people have looked me up years later and thought to themselves, “Man, I dodged a bullet with this guy. What did I ever see in him?”

I feel like I always started end of year/new years post with this line. (I’ll have to do a search later). Still doesn’t mean it’s not true.

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

“Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.

“Train yourself to let go of everything you are afraid to lose.”

Another year of searching for meaning and self discovery and another year of failing. Not seeing the answer that are right in front of me. Living …staying alive just to stay alive. Unable/unwilling to move forwards or backwards on any of the axis of my life. Reminiscing about a past I don’t remember, doomsaying a future that hasn’t happened yet,

I did ask for this in a memory that I may or may not remember correctly. I wanted time to stop; I wanted to stay in the one perfect moment on the timeline. And maybe I did get my wish, just not the way I envisioned it. Stuck in a moment while time and space fast forwards around me. At least Goku & Vegeta spent their time training and strengthening themselves. While I just sat on the couch and watched the drama/sit-com/documentary/anime/sports/variety show that is life as a secondary/background character.