Monthly Archives: May 2023

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Bullshit. The birds in my apartment complex are chirping their asses off at 3am in the morning waking everyone up. The worse though were the flamingos at Safari West when I spent the night; they were long and ugly sounding.

• I don’t deserve my job
• I don’t deserve my apartment
• I don’t deserve my things
• I don’t deserve my friends
• I don’t deserve my family
• I don’t deserve love
• I don’t deserve what I want
• I don’t deserve what I need
• I don’t deserve life

Got the willpower to go out for breakfast this morning at Toast. Got here early enough to beat the Mother’s Day/church crowd. Didn’t bring the journal with me cause all of my pen bibs are filthy. Good thing I finally got a sonic cleaner for them.

After breakfast, goto the hardware store for a plug extension for the A/C and see if they have the window blocker. If not, I still have the cardboard from last year. Also should goto Safeway on the way home. And try to clean the house today. Work a little more on the tiger bust. And maybe tackle fixing the Govee lights on the sofa and the wall. So ambitious; but we’ll see how far I get.

**sigh** I wonder if mom even appreciates the flowers I send or just throw them away. Nobody wins when the family feuds.

Should actually take a day off to go get my lab work done and make an appointment for True Float. Wasting $80 if I don’t use it. Maybe I should cancel and goto StretchLab instead. It is closer than driving to Napa.

Is it self care or just being selfish?

Am I depressed or just lazy?