How To Change Your Mind

I started watching this show on Netflix and it’s very interesting.  I wish that I had severe enough mental illness to actually be eligible to be in a study for LSD or mushrooms, or ECT.  But I’ve been told time and time again that my symptoms are not severe enough.  And yet, while talk therapy, the meds that I’m on, and the CBT and DBT classes that I have taken have let me see my mental and emotional conditions, they have not given me the tools or solutions to deal with them.  At most, I can recognize them and build a wall up and distract them until they settle down, but it is a game that I will eventually lose.  Again, with no one to anchor me, should I just go back to alcohol to dull the pain in secret.  I don’t just want to dull the pain though, just like I don’t want to be chained to cycle through prescription drugs that the doctors really don’t know how they work.  I want to conquer or destroy my demons….or at least train them to get me an ice coffee or fold my laundry.  You know something useful