Monthly Archives: July 2003

Two totally unrelated things….

1) I really want to find a new RPG game to suck my soul into and play. Still mussing over Star Wars Galaxies, although I’m not too thrilled about paying a monthly fee. I could always get
Baldur’s Gate and the expansion for cheap. I could also get the Diablo II expansion and do that again. Just something that I’ve just decided on.

2) Not sure what I’m doing with the title thing. The whole purpose of the title is to let the reader know what the theme of the post is about. And usually, my title are the furthest thing from post. Anyway, not sure where I got this from (one word titles starting with a period) or if I made it up all by myself. For some reason the anime Lain pops in my head. Anyway, I’ll be fooling around with that and the rest of my journal has I work towards a 8/1 update of the entire site.

I guess I should post about the Giant’s game on Thursday, but I think that I will let that simmer a bit more…
[Listening to: To Make You Feel My Love – Garth Brooks – Double Live Disc 2 (03:00)]

Woke up way too early for my own good on a Saturday. Woke up still feeling sick, however also woke up with a craving for bagels. Pondering driving into the city to get my free bagels this month. I’m thinking that it will happen.

Still don’t understand why Barbara was vacuuming at midnight last night. Usually it wouldn’t bother me because I’m awake at that time, but last night I was falling asleep early and the
vacuuming wasn’t helping. Chalk it up to her eccentricies, I guess.

Nothing planned for this weekend; def. need to do some more laundry. Maybe I’ll cruise to the beach to do some reading, some writing, and some beach watching. Hmmm, if I am going to drive all the way to the city for bagels, I might as well goto the library and get some more books.

I should also stop by Park Merced and see if my membership card will let me get into the gym. I really need to start going back to the gym, and it would be so easy to do it after work. O.K. maybe not so easy since I’m not doing it right now. However, Mark has slowly been inspiring me with his stories of waking up at 5-6am to go jogging and stuff. Not that I am going to wake up at 5am, mind you (I’m not crazy). I just need to get more conditioning and stuff. I don’t know, maybe it’s time to get rid of the final love handle and put another inch on the ole pythons. Maybe.

[Listening to: Maria – Rage Against the Machine – The Battle of Los Angeles (03:48)]

Today was the Warehouse appreciation day trip to Six Flags/Marine World in Vallejo. Overall it was a fun, if not expensive trip since I paid for the admissions for the guys. The park itself was O.K., but probably not the best choice for the guys, since they were looking more forward to the rides than the animals. Has for the rides themselves, we only rode 3 of the rollercoasters, since that’s all that were open. We also did the bumper cars, but spent most of the day walking around the park to the different beer locations and looking at girls. Look was all any of us could do since most of them were under 18. Still, lots of
scandalous T&A flashed around. Honestly, the only thing that saved the day was all of the beer that the guys had and all of the comments that were flung around. Oh, we also saw a child molestor (not sure if I got a pic or not). I have pictures, and I might put them up. Honestly, most of them are ass shots. There was this one girl that we followed around the park twice because she was looking hot. I don’t know, I originally wasn’t into going, however I felt kinda bad for my additude that I had at the Giants game last night, and wanted to make up. Overall it was a good time with the guys and the best thing is that we got paid for it. Slowly trying to recover from the heat and dehydration; hoping that this banana bread and milk will stay in my stomach.

What else? Kim moves out tomorrow and Barbara has someone outside demo’ing a new
vacuum cleaner for her. I am going to relax and do some reading and hope that I feel better.

[Listening to: Kachou Fuugetsu Otome Mai (Shiranui Mai Theme) – Chiba Reiko – Fatal Fury Special Image Album Part 1 (05:45)]

Giants won.

I felt alone.

I left early.

I left by myself.

Six Flags tomorrow.

Song lyrics…

Goodbye – Alicia Keys – Songs in A Minor

Mhmn bye bye

How do you love someone
That hurts you oh so bad
With intentions good
Was all she ever had

But how do I let go when I’ve
Loved her for so long and I’ve
Given her all that I could
Maybe love is a hopeless crime
Giving up what seems your lifetime
What went wrong with something once so good

How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don’t have the heart to say
To say goodbye

I know now I was naive
Never knew where this would lead
And I’m not trying to take away
From the good woman that she is

But how do I let go when I’ve
Loved her for so long and I’ve
Given her all that I could
Was it something wrong that we did
Because others infiltrated
What went wrong with something once so good

How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don’t have the heart to say
To say goodbye

Is this the end are you sure
How should you know when you’ve never been here before
It’s so hard to just let go
When this is the one and only love I’ve ever known

So how do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don’t have the heart to say
To say goodbye.

It’s 5pm and work is all done, yet I am still at work.

I should be getting ready for the Giants game tonight, but I’m not.

I don’t even want to goto the game.

I want to float in an ocean and just drift away.

Or is that what I’m already doing.

blah, blah, blah; whine, whine, whine; cry, cry, cry; feel sorry for me, feel sorry for me, feel sorry for me…

Screw you feeling sorry for me, I wish I could feel sorry for me.

Anyway, I am off to find a drug to help me out of my depression.

Coffee? Sugar? Food? Chocolate? Cigarettes? Pot? Alcohol? Sex?

Which one will it be? I would have said Alcohol, but I have to drive home
tonight.

Maybe. I’ll just reach deep down and fake the happiness, fake the comrade, fake the love.

Just have to be able to recharge enough for Six Flags tomorrow.

Who knows; maybe getting knocked around on a roller coaster will shake up something inside of me…

…besides breakfast, of course.

How can the Olsen Twins have not one, but TWO greatest hits albums? That is as crazy has Jennifer Love Hewitt having one, two, three CD’s out.

**update** Make that Three Olsen Twins Greatest Hits Albums

[Listening to: #41 – Dave Matthews Band – Crash (06:40)]

Roxy and Zoey have been coming in and out like crazy for some reason. Keisha has one
upped them and taken over the bed. Think that I will take a shower before I come back and kick her out of the room…
[Listening to: Least Complicated – Indigo Girls – Swamp Ophelia (04:12)]

I need to send a Big Thank You to Kevin Donahue for all of his help in getting the SongWriter script to work on my site. Now, you the 1-2 readers on my site, can now see what song I am currently listening to and the last 10 songs that I have listened too. Like the back of the Livejournal shirt says, “Because I like to think that people care…” Anyway, all of my CD’s are copied onto the hard drive; 188 hours of music at the touch of my hands. Currently, trying to rank the songs and get lyrics to them with the LyricsAMP for WMP9. What I really should be doing is
coming up with a new site design. Given myself until the end of the month to come up with something new. Of course, I doubt I’ll make my own timeline, but we’ll see. Think that I am going to try to goto sleep, which means that I will probably be up posting around 2am.

[Listening to: California Love [Original Version] – 2Pac – Greatest Hits Disc 2 (04:45)]

Worked late today in order to catch up on stuff so that we can go on Friday. Blah. Came home, ate a light meal, showered, and just
laid on my bed for a while until I fell asleep. Woke up an hour later and just kinda sat here, not really doing anything. Should just goto sleep, but I don’t feel tred yet. Why do I have the feeling that I am only going to get worse in the next couple of days. **sigh** Maybe I should have just got the tickets and gotten out of here instead of waiting a month. Too late now…
[Listening to: Barbarella [Deep Dish Armageddon Breakdown Mix] – Sven Väth – Renaissance Ibiza Disc 1 (10:01)]

Think that I used all of the energy that I had in the two meetings that I had today. Then later, the combo of Tim and Amber just sucked everything out of me.

**warning** Suzanne stuff ahead…

Had a “Missing Suzanne” moment, which is kinda wrong, because I am always thinking about and missing her. However, I guess this was a specific thing. I wanted to drive up to Antioch to see her, to hold her, and to talk (O.K. bitch) about our days and then make ourselves feel better by going out and getting some pie. The main point was today I needed/wanted someone to talk too, and while I guess I can talk to any of my friends about this, I really wanted to talk to Suzanne. Instead, I have to settle with a journal entry…

This concludes this “Suzanne moment”…